June 26th, 1996 – the day of my introduction to sports heartbreak. The Euro ’96 tournament was the first sporting event that I was fully aware of and engrossed in. It took hold of me and the whole country with the songs, flags, sticker books, news and a fervour that was not seen again until the London 2012 Olympics. It was a a hopeful time. It transformed the country. It truly felt that football was coming home.

But it didn’t.

Instead, we were handed the crushing blow of a defeat on penalties. If ‘football coming home’ meant England would crash out in a very predictable manner and cause fans, players and media to retreat into pessimism and bitterness that would echo over the next 25 years.

You never forget your first sports heartbreak. The surroundings, the people, the location, but more importantly, the singular moment. Whether it’s a miss, a save, a goal, a sending off, a make, it becomes so easy to visualise and impossible to forget. The singular moment of Gareth Southgate’s missed penalty will forever be seared in my mind.

June 27th, 1996 – the day after my introduction to sports heartbreak. From the disappointment of my sofa and bed to the anger of the playground. Every boy and girl focusing the vitriol towards Gareth Southgate in a microcosm of playgrounds, offices, newsrooms, TV studios, radio stations and classrooms across the country. A nation retreating into pessimism and bitterness. A nation united in its hatred for Gareth Southgate.

What is different about my experience is what happened next. We filed into school to begin our classes for the day but my teacher had other ideas. Mrs. Thompson sat us down, a class of 9 and 10 year olds, and told us the story of a hero who had the courage to step up and take a sudden death penalty on football’s biggest stage. A defender nonetheless, who could have shrunk from the moment but instead chose to step up. She forced us to put ourselves in his shoes, to take on the weight of that responsibility and showed us that he should be admired instead of villainised. Mrs. Thompson ended the address by asking who we thought was a hero of the tournament, to which myself and my classmates effusively declared ‘Gareth Southgate!’ That indelible oration has forever been a salve to the broken heart of that penalty miss.

June 30th, 2021 – A 2-0 win against Germany and it’s impossible not to think back on the Euro ’96 tournament, Gareth Southgate and that penalty miss. The victory served as a reputation redemption for Southgate, as a cathartic exercise for the English psyche. Now anything was possible.

July 11th, 2021 – Euro ’20 final, England vs. Italy at Wembley. England have dispatched Ukraine and Denmark with relative ease and now Southgate is the embodiment of calm, unflappable leadership. The players love him, the fans love him and the country loves him. The first major international final appearance for England since 1966. A belief and optimism brought back to the team for the first time in my lifetime.

Win, lose or penalty shootout in the final against Italy, Southgate will continue to be a hero for me. I’m hopeful that the rest of the country will feel the same way. Where previously there would be heartbreak, bitterness and anger, I hope Southgate and the team will be celebrated as heroes. In that sense, Southgate has already brought football home.